New Year's Resolutions

ATTAINABLE New Year's Resolutions

This year, I resolve to...

- Gain weight. At least 20 pounds.

- Stop exercising. Waste of time.

- Read less. Makes you think.

- Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

- Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

- Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

- Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

- Get in a whole NEW rut!

- Start being superstitious.

- Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

- Create loose ends.

- Get more toys.

- Get further in debt.

- Stay off the International Space Station.

- Wait around for opportunity.